im ready...?

Where am I? How did I get here?
-The last thing I remembered I was sitting on my bedroom floor with piles of clothing, carefully choosing which ones to bring with me to Cebu. It was just days after graduation and I was so excited to move in with my college friends and be free at last. Yay!^_^
Free from schoolwork: the sleepless nights of endless cramming to meet the deadlines, the bottomless pit of reading materials and paperwork, and the 7AM classes of minor subjects (like P.E. and Pol. Sci.). Then free from home: the house chores (as if I had any…), the making up of excuses for missing my curfew, the ambush interrogation about the guy I’m dating, and lastly the constant nagging of my mother about how mediocre I am.

I have never been more excited, for the first time in my life I’m going to taste independence, living on my own rules. I already have it all planned out: earn my own money, meet interesting people, upgrade my closet, try different cuisines, break some rules, break a few hearts and even save up for a wanderlust adventure on my own. That was all I hoped for when I came here and I was on my way to have all that, but after few wrong turns and unfortunate encounters, I got lost.

3years and 6 months after, I find myself asking where I am in my life right now? I’m 23, currently unemployed, have a 1month old daughter, in a grave-deep debt for all the medical bills and, verging on a nervous breakdown. But I have never felt more alive. I woke up today feeling like my old self again and I haven’t felt this way in a long time. The happenings of the last 3years seem blurry (maybe because I was drunk most of the time). But instead of feeling regret for the lost time, I feel excited. The same excitement I felt while packing my things 3years ago but with a tiny bit of difference. Because now, I think I’m ready to face the sordid reality called life. I’m sure I’d still be making some wrong turns in the future but at least now I’m ready for it. So here I am, a 23-year old, broke single mom ready to face life.