day30- badly missing...

Today is my last day on this “isolation” room. I should be packing right now but I can’t seem to drag myself into doing so.

Does this mean, I don’t want to leave?

Probably because this is the first time I ever enjoyed solitude- my little piece of haven. Looking back, I was so hesitant with the idea of living in isolation for 30days, I mean I have never lived alone all my life. I grew up sharing a room with my brothers or my mom and even up to now, I’m still living with them. So I was so perturbed with the idea of having to live all by myself.

But 30days after, here I am sitting on my bed, capturing mental images of this room where I have made myself a home. I’ll be missing a lot: I’m gonna miss these yellow walls that witnessed my latest episodes, I’m gonna miss my quiet but nosy neighbors, I’ll also miss our polite but unfriendly lady guard (who opens the gate at 3am even though its 3hours past our curfew), I’ll miss the chill that embraces me each time I enter my room (yes, for short the AC..hehe), and lastly I’ll miss having all the time to myself with nothing to do but to think, re-think and think again.

But there are also things that I won’t be missing like my landlady’s kid that throws a tantrum every f*ckin 6 in the morning, my neighbor’s pet which is a caramel-colored lizard that eats earthworms (how weird is that?!) and my supply of instant food (noodles, oatmeal and cereals).

Though I like being here, I also can’t wait to go home: to sleep in my own bed, to watch TV, have my mom’s home-cooked meals and to be with Zoe- my precious little piece of heaven…^_^. So even though I will definitely miss being alone and be isolated from the harsh reality of life, one fact surpasses it all- I just can’t wait to see with my daughter. There’s no contest to that. I guess being a mom eliminates most if not all of my me-time but it’s ok, I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it sooner or later. And no matter how cruel the world may be, having a child makes it more bearable.

So now I’ll begin packing…